New perspectives

Hello!

It's been a very long time since I updated my blog. Here's why. You can't have a blog called "losing weight and keeping it off" while you're gaining the weight you lost.

Most of my friends are aware, than in the time between 2013 and 2015, I lost 6 and a half stone. 

Here's a picture if you like.

At one point I would go to the gym 6 times a week, eat 90% clean, and could run 5km in 31 mins. I used to go to my gym and talk to people who wished to join, inspiring them. I slept well, I felt organised and like my life was on track. However all I saw when I looked in the mirror was a morbidly obese imperfect person. 

I didn't expect to be sitting here, a mere 14 months later, trying to justify gaining it all back. All of it, probably more. There's no excuse, no medical reason... I stopped exercising and started replacing my runners high with a chocolate and takeaway high. I did try in this time to get healthy again, I even did a month of The Body Coach 90 day SSS Plan and really thought I was going to get back to my lightest.....

But I didn't. 

I continued to gain weight at a phenomenal rate. I got a new job, so the people there never knew the "healthier" me. I used that as a bit of a crutch to eat all of the time. 

I think about it all day every day, how much weight I've gained, how I don't exercise any more, how I don't run. Apps like 'Timehop' reminding me every day were like a little voice saying 'remember when you were smaller and you didn't even realise?' or 'Remember when that lovely jacket fit you' I felt / feel like such a failure, so much so that I keep trying, almost setting myself up for failure, because all I could think about was how I've never done what I planned to (and the name of my blog) - Losing weight and keeping it off!

So here's what I'm doing about it:

1. Accountability I'm writing this blog for me, not you. I aim to write at least once a week to check in on my life and reflect on what I'm doing right (and what I'm doing wrong)
2. Progression reporting - I will weigh myself once a week. I'll post it too. 
3. Target setting - I somehow have found myself running the GNR 2016. More to come on this later
4. Support - I've joined Slimming world. I need to do something to stop myself eating until I feel sick- and I think the support of weekly sessions will help me with this. 
5. Positivity - The negative stuff is written out now - it's time to forgive myself and move on. It's easier to say than do, but I'm ready to wipe the slate clean and focus on rebuilding my energy levels, exercising, and eating healthier. 

It's time to move on, learn to run again, and learn to be healthy. It's not going to be easy, but I'm ready for the challenge. This time, I know I'm ready. I don't have a choice. 

Next post will bring good news, I'm promising myself.