A German lesson

Hi everyone,

Good to see you!

I thought I'd start today with a word from the Germans. While not a particularly nice word, I feel it is appropriate for where I am right now, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this....

 [Pic Cred]

" innerer Schweinehund "

Yes friends, that is a pig-dog. Your 'innere Schweinehund' is your inner pig-dog. 

I follow a few health bloggers, from all over the place, and some from Germany. When I saw people talking about people conquering their inneren Schweinehund; I read a little more about it on good old Wiki.

On it's own, the word Schweinehund is not a very nice one, however using it against yourself probably isn't a good way to look at it either. Your innerer Schweinehund is weak, lazy, and probably most prominent after an all inclusive holiday, or a few weeks of tactfully avoiding the gym. 

My Innerer Schweinehund has been taking over my life for the last few weeks. Ever since I did the Newcastle Stampede, and actually a little bit before, I've avoided exercise, I've eaten like an animal, I've drank more alcohol than I generally do these days, and I've chowed down takeaways like it's going out of fashion. I'm disgusted at myself, I really am. It's not all my innerer Schweinehund's fault- I've knowingly done it. It was me who bought the cookies, it was me who drank the wine, it was me who ordered the pizza. 

I feel like I've taken 3 steps backwards. My jeans are getting tight. I'm avoiding tight fitting clothing, and I feel bloated, sick and ashamed. I have spent weeks waiting for someone to slap me out of it and tell me to get my shit together.... But no one did. Of course they didn't. No one told me to lose weight. No one forced me to start running. No one pushed me to get into a routine. 

It was me. 

Why was I waiting around for someone to force me help me, when I was the one making myself feel bad? The only reason I feel/ felt so awful is because I know I am better than this. I know I can plan, eat well, and improve my fitness. And that knowledge will make you want to keep going.

Time to stop feeling sorry for myself, get up off my out-of-shape, squat-missing ass, and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Ich überwinde meinen inneren Schweinehund!

If you're in a rut, and if you feel like you're in the same boat, it's time to do something about it. Make a conscious effort to notice everything you eat, drink, and how much exercise you're fitting into your day. You will feel better if you take every day as a challenge to improve. 

Did I mention the Stampede already? A few weeks ago, I did the Newcastle Stampede with some friends. It was a 10k race with 21(ish) obstacles. Aside from smashing my knee in, and twisting my already-twisted ankle, IT WAS AWESOME. Here's some unseen pics!

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I would just like to mention that I've only just realised which person on this picture is me. Ha!

10 months later

Hi!

It's been 10 months since I started my blog, and approx. 7 since I stopped updating it. I had a bad couple of weeks, and felt I'd be letting everyone and myself down by trying to talk about being healthy. After that, it just became too long, and I didn't know if I could come back to it. I still thought about this little thing all the time- I enjoyed updating it, even the posts which 1 or 2 people read.

I really liked being able to set my weekly thoughts jotted down, and organise them, and it made me feel clarity I didn't know was possible. I'm glad to be picking this up again, and hope to update at least once a week. I will try for more often and will make them all waaaaay more fun than this post will be.

I've learned a lot about myself over the past 10 months; some good, some not so good. 

Good:

• If I put my mind to it, I can lose weight (At my lightest, I'd lost 3st 5lbs since 6th January 2014)
• I can run 10km in 73 minutes- and have no doubt I can do it faster.
• I can run 5km in 29 minutes- and have no doublt I can do it faster.
• I can sort, I can clarify, I can improve. 

Bad

• Failing to plan leads to me stressing out, giving up, and feeling miserable
• I am not/ was not prepared for injuries
• I can eat a whole sharing bag of handcooked crisps in one evening
• I can worry, I can exaggerate, I can put pressure on myself.

The only time I feel good is with a plan. And that's why I've started work on '2015' already. MY YEAR. I'm going to learn from my mistakes over the past 12 months and I'm going to take examples of mine (and friends'- many of the people around me are doing so great with getting fit and losing weight, I'm so proud!!) triumphs to keep me motivated. 

In fact, by the end of 2015, I want to be at my initial target weight. 

*DRUMROLL* 

11st 7lbs. 

A total of 8 stone (50kg) lost (since I started counting, anyway) over approx 30 months

2 stone 3lbs to go. (Let's see what I weigh on 1st Jan, I don't intend to put on weight before then but if the last few weeks are anything to go by....) 

I Can't wait. 

I have plans, I have actions, I have goals, I have time, I have a fucking great year ahead of me. 

Watch this space. 

P.s I am fully aware that it is October, and I shouldn't be planning from January. I am going to do something to sort out the next couple of months, but right now, I'm avoiding everything that happens in the next few weeks because I'm to scared to deal with the fact that I'm going to Cameroon and I have no plan to fall back on. 

The G Word

Hello :)

This week has been a roller coaster of good/bad, healthy/unhealthy, fun/stress. Life is all about moderation... But I was not, in any way, moderate. I felt terrible every time I ate something I knew I shouldn't. I got sick of feeling guilty pretty quickly, so went back to eating healthy after a couple of days of hating myself. 

I'm travelling to Germany tomorrow. As most of you know, Germany is where I really started piling on the weight. I couldn't blame the people around me, I lived with 2 of the healthiest eaters I'd ever met. I did eat out a lot more, I drank a lot more, and I did little exercise.

I found my gym card from when I lived in Germany, and it turns out I was pretty massive before I even went to the gym.

I could make a list of the foods/ drinks I love from Germany, and I can assure you all of them are bad for you.

So I'm setting myself a challenge. I like mini challenges, and 2 weeks is perfect amount of time to not feel defeated/ not give up/ be happy and see a small change.

• Travel- Pack healthy food, don't eat the free KLM snacks/ travel sweets/ airport burger king.
• Run- Before the end of the 2 weeks, I want to have done my first 10k run. I don't care how long it takes.
• Exercise- Go the the gym. Maybe start the 30 day shred.
• Food- Eat out (it happens!) but pick carefully. No fast food. No dessert. 
• Alcohol- Don't drink. I know German beer is the best, but no one got healthy by drinking the stuff.

I'm meeting up with friends while I'm there, and a really good friend of mine is getting married. I'm not going to go to these things and not eat, but I am going to take a lot more care than I have before.

I will let you know how I'm getting on. Hopefully, being away from the rest of life and only focusing on my training course will give me time to reflect on the year so far, and maybe even update my blog more.

Tschüssssssi!

P.s- I failed completely at Juice plus. Skipping meals is unhealthy, and although I felt better on them, I knew that the amount of exercise I am doing means I need to eat. I have 4 tubs left if anyone wants to try it.

Why Diets Suck

We've all been there.

"That's it! My jeans are too tight, I'm going on a diet!"

"I've booked my holiday, now I just have to follow Davina's ultimate bikini body diet and I will look glorious by the time I go away!" 

"I'm sick of my muffin top, I'll go on a diet for a little while to get rid of it."

Diets are Stupid. There I said it. They are! Everything about a diet implies that it's okay to temporarily (key word) deny ourselves the things we secretly want to gorge on in order to lose a bit of weight. 

I've done diets. Not many, because you mostly hear bad things about them (and I didn't get to the size I am by dieting, ha). I've tried and tested Slimming World, and BooTea. I've written a list of reasons I don't like diets;

• Diets imply that once you've achieved what you want, you can go back to your old habits. 
• Diets are all about restriction. Don't eat this, don't eat that. Making you give up the things you love will only make you hate your 'diet' even more. 
• Every expert will tell you something different. Eat as much as you want/starve yourself, don't have olive oil/ switch to olive oil etc etc. How is anyone supposed to know what to do?
• They are not always healthy. Have you ever read the top 10 diets suggested by the NHS? Have you seen the number of negatives on each diet!? Even the NHS can't give you something coherent.
• Everyone is different, our bodies are different. What works for me might not work for you. 
• Calorie counting- If you drink a SlimFast then eat a packet of crisps, you're not being healthy. You're slowly destroying your body.
• Exercise- So many diets don't mention exercise! Why? It makes you feel a lot better than sitting wishing you had a cupcake.
•  Diets are temporary. No one is on a diet for life. A healthy lifestyle requires a complete change in attitude. You shouldn't be doing it 'until I come off my diet'.  

Living a healthy lifestyle is a big thing, and if you do it well you will lose weight and feel better. If you want to have something bad, have something bad. You're allowed! If you want to have a week of to binge, maybe that's not such a good idea (ha). 

Did I mention I'm doing a diet? I'm 4 days into Juice Plus. I hate diets, but I couldn't resist giving this a go. More will be explained when I'm done... And the pounds are already slipping off. I will keep you posted.